


Elemental

by Kimmiekat123



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Happy Ending, Help, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Other, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-09-23 09:11:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9649268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimmiekat123/pseuds/Kimmiekat123
Summary: As the new and youngest member of the avengers, my past comes back to haunt me. With the others watching me, will they be able to help? My powers are out of control (I can control the elements as well as any organic matter) and my emotions along with them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is from my point of view but feel free to leave comments so I can start on your own stories :)  
> With love,  
> Kimmiekat123

**"** **That was a long time ago. I said I was sorry a million times!" I practically screamed at Clint.**

"But it still happened" Clint retorted as if I would change my mind set. I had already apologised plenty.

"Clint, I was scared. I'm sorry I stabbed you. Now please put it behind you" I knew he wouldn't. I had just joined the Avengers team officially and of course Clint decided this was a great time to bring up when we first met. It was a year ago, I was in hiding from both S.H.I.EL.D and H.Y.D.R.A. I mean, I didn't do anything wrong, I was just a science experiment at one of the Hydra bases. They had found out about my powers and decided to test them, against my will. But then the Avengers took down to base, whilst I ran away. Shield found some documents on me and decided to hunt me down. Of course when they found me I fought back. Long story short, I stabbed Clint. Oops.

"Fine" he laughed. He was going mention it yet again I'm sure. He was however my best friend here. Other than Bucky. Although he didn't amit to it, he had a sweet side.

"Good" I smiled, sitting down on the living room couch next to Sam. Who, by the way, was being unnaturally quite. I started to poke his cheek.

"What the hell Kim?" He chuckled as I continued poking him.

"Who's ready for a meeting" Tony said as he came into the room, earning a groan from Clint, Sam, and myself. "Oh come on, it's not that bad"

At that moment Steve had entered the room along with Wanda and Bucky. Hmm. Wonder where they were. They all took seats on various sides of the room. Vision and Nat had gone to the main building to discuss something with Fury.

Tony cleared his throat, "as you all know, Kim is now an Avenger!" Every clapped as you felt heat rising to your face. "Which means we need to celebrate" you looked at Tony for a moment before speaking.

"Please don't, me plus large crowds equals disaster" I wave my hand for full effect, making fire glint off my fingers.

"Kim kinda has a point Tony" Steve said quietly. "She still has to train to control her abilities" I smiled softly, glad he said abilities instead of powers. It bothered me. "Plus, she's a bit to young for a Stark party"

"What? How is she to young?" Stark looked dumbfounded.

"He has a point, I'm only 15 and I've heard stories of some of your parties Tony" I smiled, my comment making Clint and Sam laugh.

"Fine then, I won't throw a party" Tony stood with his arms crossed. Bucky snorted slightly.

"Your thinking of another excuse aren't you Stark" Bucky said while looking down. He was shy, much like me. We've both seen some deep shit, but he was kind.

"Why would I do such a thing Cyborg?" Ouch, he threw out a nickname no one wanted to hear.

"I'm going back to the gym" Bucky suad while lifting himself from the couch.

"I'll join him. Behave" Steve said while doing the same. "Kim would you like to join? I'm sure I could throw you to the ground before you step in" he smirked causing my anger to rise and he saw the literal fire in my eyes.

"You're on!" I said before running to my room to change. After rumaging around I found a black sports bra and some tight yoga pants, never shorts, my thighs were covered in angry red lines. Scars scattered my arms, which, when the team first saw them were concerned, but I had convinced them that I had stopped. I guess not. I sighed while looking it the mirror. I need to lose weight.

Once in the gym, Steve smiled as I put my green hair into a pony tail. Don't get me wrong, I don't die it, t's naturally this dark green black. My hair is shaved on the sides to create a death hawk.

"Took you long enough" Steve said. U laughed.

"Kinda hard when my room looks like a run with death" I smiled widely as I remembered his dare. "So, you gonna pin my or not?" I chuckled, Bucky watching from afar.

Steve dove to catch me, ready to pin me down. I was ready for the lunged and stepped back and sides, him missing me completely. I laughed watching him scramble to get me, each time moving out of the way. He made a right step, wrong move. I dove down catching his leg before leaping him, knocking him to the ground.

"I win!" I yelled as I pinned him down. He smiled.

"Your young!" He smiled, laughing out his response.

"No, your just old!" I stuck out my tongue. So mature I know.

"Very funny Elemental" he said using my "super" name 

"Exactly Cap" 

I looked over to see Bucky struggling to contain his laughter. I nodded goodbye before heading out to catch Clint for firing practice.

           *Le time skip*

After several hours of aiming arrows at a bull's-eye and a few burnt bows (I got excited), me and Clint finally went inside. He headed towards the kitchen for a snack asking if I wanted a sandwhich, but I said wasn't hungry, walking towards my room, I heard a distant "suit yourself".

Once finally in the safety of my room, I quickly got undressed and after wrapping a towel around myself, headed to my bathroom for a shower. After a full minutes of water running to make sure it was warm, I hopped in. Grabbing some shampoo, I started cleansing my tangled hair. Looking down at my bare body I started to feel tears falling. Why couldnt I just loose enough weight? Looking down I noticed the way my stomach poked out. (Note, in this, I am skinny. Probably underweight) I winced at my own thoughts flooding my brain. Grabbing onto the side of the tub, I sat down in the shower, letting the water run down my spine. I must have been in there for a while because I heard a soft knock at the door.

"Who is it?" I asked, trying to keep my voice from wavering.

"It's Bucky, Kim are you all right? You've been in there for a bit" 

"Yeah. I'm fine" I mentally slapped myself as my voice cracked.

"Can-can I come in?" I was thankful for the black shower curtain. At least he cant she me.

"Sure..I..I guess" I hugged my knees closer, remembering the cuts along my thighs. Hush, I told myself, he's not gonna see you naked. The door opened slightly and you heard Bucky sit on the floor.

"Kim are you sure your okay?" He inquired. Suddenly I remembered the razors I had pulled out before showering, they were on the counter. I hadn't cut, but they hadn't been put away either.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just a bit awkward of having someone in my bathroom" I tried to play in off, tried to pretend they weren't there.

"Kim," he sighed quietly. He probably had no clue what to do. "What, what are these?" He asked silently. He didn't want to to scare me, I could tell by his emotions.

"Oh, the blades" I said trying to think of a lie. "I leave them in here in case of an intruder, since I can control metals" wow. That actually sounded believable.

"Oh" he sounded shocked, but still questionable.

"Yeah. I know what it looks like, considering my past but I'm okay. I promise" now I was making promises.

"Kim, you can tell me the truth. I won't tell anyone. Not even Steve, I want to help you. I know better than anyone else what you've been through. Just let me help" It was true. He did. He was there, yes in soldier form, but he saw what they did to me. How I was hurt, beat, and experimented on. He even knew about my childhood. About my crazy mom, abusive dad, about the rapes. I trusted him enough to let him in. But..I just couldn't let him see me fail.

"Bucky, I'm fine" mentally killing myself.

"No, Kim you're not. Come on. Get out of the shower. I-i want to help" 

I struggled for words. Instead I turned off the water and reach meagerly for a towel and wrapped it against my body. 

"I'll bring you some clothes Kim" I heard the door open and close followed my some shuffling. Within minutes, Bucky was in my bathroom again. He opened the curtains slowly, then handed my the bundle he had brought. The my dismay, it was tank-top and shorts. I motioned for him to leave and once he did, I changed, dreading to finish and open the door. I looked down, again the angry read lines greeted me. They went far past the shorts end making me feel more guilt. I turned off the light, hoping it would conceal my figure before opening the door. I opened it to find Bucky sitting on my bed. When he saw me amurge, my face down, he looked to my thighs. Upon seeing the red lines, contrasted against my pale skin, he ran to me, cradling me in his arms.

I couldn't contain the tears any more. They came flowing down life a waterfall, but I couldn't bring myself to hug him back. I just lay there in his arms, silently weeping as he murmured "it's gonna be okay" over and over into my hair. A sudden knock at the door made me jump, I didn't want anyone else to know. Not even Clint, my closest friend.

"Hey Kim, we're going to watch a movie if you wanted to join" it was Clint.

"I'm okay, I'm going to bed" I said forcing the quiver out of my voice as Bucky still held me.

"Okay, sleep well Kim" haha, between the nightmares I had and insomnia, Clint knew I never slept well.

His foot steps faded away and I looked gingerly at Bucky, before quickly looking back down.

"Kim, it's gonna be okay. I'm here. I'll help you" I leaned into him feeling a mixture of safe and guilty. Maybe a bit of anger. Then suddenly a small burst of ice came from my hand. I jumped back off of Bucky, afraid of hurting him. "Kim it's okay, you just need practice controlling them"

"Now. I. I can't let you do this to yourself, so I need your razors" I loved down again, not wanting to fully comply. "Kim please" I gave in. I lifted my arm and set out a wave of green light that I direct towards the bathroom, collecting the razors and setting them in front of Bucky.

"Im sorry" I said meakly.he had a hard enough life. Suddenly he was beside you, holding you again. 

"Kim, don't be sorry, we all slip. It's okay" I just nodded my head. He lifted me onto my bed and laid there with my until I fell asleep, a rare thing for me.

           *Le nightmare*

I was screaming. Everywhere I looked was  _him_. I couldn't help but cower into myself. Suddenly he was on top of my once again and-

I woke up crying and screaming my entire body generating fear. I looked over, Bucky was no longer there. I  grabbed onto my knees. Suddenly Clint was beside me, rubbing my back and whispering things like "it's okay" and "it was just a dream" I just nodded and kept rocking.

Until Clint looked down at my legs, still in shorts the red lines highly visible even in my dark room.

**"Oh Kim"**

 


	2. Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting!!!

Well Clint had been watching me like a hawk.  
Which couldn't be more ironic really.

But, with watching me so closely, he noticed how little I really ate and him and his fatherly nature compelled him to try and help me.

So naturally, I locked him out. I locked Bucky out.

I locked everyone out.

I refused to join in training, I refused to make contact with anyone, except F.R.I.D.A.Y. The only thing I didn't refuse was missions, and even then, I was distant.

I even had a change in "costume".

My usual war attire was a copy cat of Black Widow cat suit, lined in green. Instead now I wore a full black stealth suit, complete with a long sleeved trench coat, knee high combat boots and a half mask, one that covers the lower half of my face starting at the nose.

My deep green hair seemed to darken with my mood, turning a darker shade. My makeup was reduced to black eyeliner.

First mission we took after the "incident", Hawkeye made a choking sound seeing me this way.

I knew why.

This was my HYDRA war suit. 

Only he knew that.

Only the HYDRA emblem was removed.

~To the present~

I'm packing, F.R.I.D.A.Y playing Zombie by the Cranberries on maximum, while the room was on sound proof.

I was leaving.

I don't know why.

But I needed to leave.

And it hurt.

Clint was my only family.

The Avengers were my family.

And I didn't understand these feelings.

The nightmares got worse, my thighs and arms started to look like a Christmas tree covered in retched red.

And my mind.

My mind found its way back to insane.

And it showed.

Steve had pulled me aside on a previous mission...

And I attacked..

I don't remember what happened..

When I came to, Steve was covered in dust, with a black eye forming...

And Clint was holding me down..

I need to leave

So I did


	3. Shadows

You would assume that one would go back home at one point when running away.

But I ran away and hid, quite well do to HYDRA training.

Any sign the Avengers had of me was gone, any lead, any witness seemed to lead to nowhere.

*Avengers POV*

They sat in the lounge room discussing a mission when Steve realized that Kim hadn't arrived. She had been distant, everyone knew that and when she came to after the attack, Steve swore she didn't know what happened.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, where's Kim?" Tony asked, pouring himself a scotch. He couldn't of cared less for the teenager, she was always hidden by herself or training. No fun he once had claimed.

"She left."

"What!?!" Explained just about anyone in the building.

"I'm not sure when."

"What do you mean 'you're not sure'!? You're a computer!!" Steve called out.

"I seem to have had a malfunction."

Clint just sat there, blank faced.

Bucky, he got up and started packing.

He was going to find her.

If it was the last thing he'd do.


	4. A Bird in The Middle of Winter

When Clint discovered that Bucky was setting out to find her, he was intent on going as well.

Which bugged Bucky.

A lot.

(I mean have you ever seen two guys argue over why they love- in this case should father- a girl more. Oh wait, you have, in almost every chick flick ever.)

They decided to go together in the long run and set out trying to find leads. Which was none.

Great.

~Kim's POV~

"Who the fuck is Deadpool?!"

"Watch your language little lady, wouldn't want to be put in time out." 

"I understand you don't understand what's happening Y/N, none of us know why I'm in this story, probably because Haven thought it was a good idea, the sick fucking bastard!"

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO AND WHO IS FUCKING HAVEN!?!? WHAT TYPE OF NAME IS HAVEN ANYWAY!?" Stones started to fly up next to my body. I was getting pissed at the dick of a man in the red suit.

"Woah, woah calm down." He raised his hand in a upward movement. "Haven is the name of the author, I'm talking to the audience and I think Haven is a beautiful name."

*Thank you Wadeypoo.*

"No problem love."

I stared at him in utter shock...who the fuck..what the fuck..where the fuck..

"It's a superpower I have." He responded. "Are you hungry? You look hungry."

"I'm fine." Knowing 1) eating never solved any problems 2) he's a stranger and 3) Ew, just ew.

"The author wrote in the first two chapters that you need to eat." He said eyeing me. "If you won't eat, at least come inside, take a nice shower or something okay?"

"Fine."

*Thank you Wade, I know I wrote her this way, but I still care.*

"No problem Haven."

"STOP THAT!"


	5. ..Stop..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapters all around and I'm sorry, I tend the do this when I have a quick idea to add in.

"I'll be right back with some clothes for you, go ahead and hop in the shower." Said a blind old lady that happened to stay with Wade.

I locked the bathroom door, quickly ridding myself of my stealth suit. I had put it on planning to attack some HYDRA operatives a few miles out, instead ran right into Wade.

I stripped myself of the suit and stood standing there looking at myself in the mirror in a tank top and shorts.

Two years.

I left two years ago. And time did not pass fast.

I chose to eat one meal a day instead of none, inorder to keep up my health..not that I entirely cared. I died my hair black rather than the natural deep green, and grew out my shaved sides, in stead growing them out to match the rest of my hair which now reached the middle of my back.

Dark circles lined my eyes to the point where I stopped putting on eyeliner. What was the point? 

I had stopped one thing of course, I stopped tearing my arms and thighs. For my eighteenth birthday, I ran over to a Tattoo shop and got a bundles of flowers on my arm to cover, poorly, the highly raised scars.

A few more ear piercings, Gauges and a septum ring later, you have me now. Too thin. Too scarred. Too everything.

I hopped into the shower, jumping at the warmth of the water. For two years, I'd only showered in freezing water, in old hotel rooms.

'Knock'

I jumped slightly. "Yes?" I called out.

"Hey, it's Wade, Haven told me to talk to you."

"I'm taking a shower."

"I'm aware." 

"WHAT THE FUCK!? I LOCKED THE DOOR!"

"I know I just felt like you couldn't hear me well enough."

"Get out, get out now." I said menacingly.

"Okay okay, Haven told me you need space, alright I get it."

I'm leaving this dump, as soon as I'm dressed.


	6. A Call

Ring ring ring..

Ring ring ring..

Ring ring ring..

"Hello, this is a private number, I'm not sure h-"

"It's me."

"Kim? Wh-? How? Where are you?"

"Did you get my note?"

"Yes I got your note, where are you?"

"Clint, I'm sorry, I re-"

"Where are you!? Kim? Please."

"I'm safe."

"That's not good enough."

"I can't come back yet." My voice broke.

"Calm down, of course you can, Kim..I-i thought you were dead. Why did you leave, why haven't you called?"

"I wanted to Clint, I want to so bad, I just couldn't.. you don't know how much I wanted to. But..I can't go back..the stuff, it's still in my head, it's still there and-an-"

"Shh, Kim, it's gonna be alright, stop crying and listen to me. I'm going to find you okay..and, maybe you don't need to come back to tower just yet, just stay in an apartment some where downtown until we can figure this all out."

I snorted a little. "I am in an apartment downtown."

"Really?! Do you know how many countries me and Bucky went to?"

"Bucky? Is he okay?!"

"Of course Kim, he's fine. But, how about you. Please tell me honestly, did you s-"

"Yes, I stopped."

"Thank God. Send me the address."

"Friday is more than likely tracking the phone I'm using now, just meet me buy the dinner. You know which one.'

~Avengers POV~

Tony had almost entirely forgotten about her. Wanda constantly searched for her through her powers. Sam, Steve and Natasha keep bringing up tack ticks on finding her. Clint and Bucky, as you heard, were on the move all the time. Rhodey worried, but didn't get to much into it, he had never really met you. Thor and Banner had never met you, so the thought never crossed their minds.

~Kim's POV~

I waiting across the street from the diner, just to make sure no one else followed.

When I spotted Clint, I dropped a stone, loud enough for their focus and started heading down a alley way, making sure they were following.

I continued walking until they had reached just behind me. Still not facing them, I created a wall of rock, blocking anyone's view of the alley.

I slowly turned around, not entirely sure if I was ready.

Only to be pulled into the Hawk's chest and being squeezed to death.

After what seemed to be an hour, he let go and stared straight into my milky green eyes. 

"When did you get a septum ring?"

"I-i just wanted one." 

*Throat being cleared.*

"Bucky, I-"

I thought that Clint's hug was bone crushing, I was left heaving after he finishes hugging me. Not before he whispered "I understand how it feels Kim."

"Now I feel left out." Said a Slovakian accent from somewhere in the alley.

"Wanda?" Said Clint from my side.

"I couldn't just stay at the tower knowing you vere visiting Kim." I turned around to face her, to which she immediately ran into my arms.

"Do any of the others know?" Bucky responded.

"No, Kim? Vhen did you get taller than me?"

"I didn't realize I did, I'm still shorter than Bucky."

"Vhy did you leave?" I paused, not sure how to explain it to her. "You know I can't read your thoughts Kim." I shook my head.

"I'll explain later, I have to get moving soon."

"Are people following you?" Clint asked.

"Yeah, a Red Guy in suit, says someone named Haven wants us to be friends."

"Where are you staying."

"An apartment downtown, apartment number 403. If you need to find me, looked up dazed in the phone book, I'll answer." I turn around to look at every one.

"I'm so sorry."


	7. Well...

Hey guys, this is my most popular of my posts, but...

I have no more ideas for it.

None

NO MORE

I'm sorry for disappointing those that read my story, but I'm gonna be taking a break until I get an idea to pop into my weird ass head

 

TTYL...I guess


End file.
